There is a Time and Reason for Everything

There are times in everyone's lives when it feels like nothing is going the way you want it to. Sometimes I just feel discouraged because people around me have something that I want, but don't have. It's hard to be able to watch others do what I can't, but it all comes back to ME. I get to decide what to do with a situation, and I get to choose what attitude and light to shed on a situation. There have been multiple times in the past few months that have altered my mind, in good and bad ways. 

About five months ago, I tore a ligament in my knee. It was the first game of championships in basketball, and I had had the best season of my life. It was really hard to accept the fact that I was not able to play any of my sports or work out. The first few months were the hardest months of my life. I was two weeks behind in school and I felt as if I was no one. Volleyball and basketball, I felt, were what I was known for. If you ask one of my friends or a person who knew of me who I was, I knew they would say, "Oh, I know of Taylor White! She plays ..." So basically when I tore my ACL, it felt as though everything I was, was stripped away. I was a real mess. I thought that there was nothing left of me. I went to physical therapy twice a week, and even though I love playing and couldn't stand being out, I didn't listen to what the therapists were trying to tell me. I just pretended that noting was wrong, and I didn't care how fast I got back. It was just a rough and rocky road that I thought I couldn't handle. Whenever someone asked how I was doing, I just shrugged, saying...great. It wasn't until a friend texted me that I got out of this sad sleep. If you notice, I did not mention God once in the first half of my story, and that was because he was not in it. I somehow decided that I didn't need him even in the hardest time of my life. That one conversation with my friend really changed my perspective on life in general. After talking about my depressing life, my friend, (no surprise it was Josh), asked me a few questions that no one dared to ask me. To sum it up, he asked me questions like, "why did this happen to you?" and "have you talked to God about why?" Honestly, I had no answer to those questions, but in order to save myself, I just answered what I thought he wanted to hear. But even though I couldn't answer the questions, just thinking about it made me realize what I was missing. The idea that God may have had a reason for letting this happen to me had never ever crossed my mind. I had been trying to get through life all on my own, thinking that no one would ever understand the pain I was going through. (Not even my friends who had gone through surgery like me). It was a difficult path to my realization, and when I finally realized what I was missing, it was quite hard to get back on track. I finally started praying again, and I even started doing devotions every morning. After talking to Josh, my other friend Sydney, and praying, I knew why I was injured. Everything finally fit together perfectly. A week before I tore my ACL, I remember talking to Josh about life. I had told him that life was going way too fast and I was stressing out about how much I needed to get done. I told Josh that I wish there was a pause button on life. After I tore my ACL I didn't have to do work for a little bit, I didn't have any sports, and I could just relax for a bit. Instead of seeing what I could do, the thoughts of what I couldn't do filtered everything I saw in life at that time. By the time I realized that I had so much, and God had truly blessed me, I could already resume things like weightlifting and jogging. I gained back so much motivation that all at once I headed full on back into my life, better than ever: even before I was injured. Now it has been about five months, and I do not and will never regret anything I've gone through. In fact, now that I've been through it, my life is so much stronger than before. 

I learned that there I a reason and a time for everything, and even though sometimes I want things to happen at the time, there is a greater plan for me. If something does not work out as expected, there is always a way to turn it into something good. God is always there no matter how badly we treat him, or neglect him, and even if we think there is no answer and no reason, there always is. God sometimes has to send 'wake up calls' to us when we turn our eyes away from him; it just took me this big of an incident to realize who I truly live for. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1 

There is a time for everything. There is a time for everything that is done on this earth. 

Reason for Disappointment

I was just playing my game of 2048 earlier tonight when a friend of mine texted me asking for me to pray for him, as he is going through one of the hardest situations he has ever been in. After praying and exchanging a few texts I felt a pull from God to tell him that he needs to surrender it all to Him. I sent him:

"She doesn't ignore it; that's not what karli does. She's overwhelmed right now and i think it's because of trey. It's a lot to take, and honestly, I'm not going to let her go out with trey. I don't want to jeopardize me and her friendship but she's told  me things and I'm not going to let her do that. I'm not saying I'll force her to like you cuz that's not right but I'll do everything I can to keep her away from trey. Not for you, but for her. But Brandon, if you really like her, then you are going to have a hell of a time getting over her. And I don't  think you'll be able to do it. I know you love her. It's not a choice, it's a must. It's a blessing and a burden. It just is. You love her. And if she takes a long time to realize how much you mean to her, then she might have to take time. But I believe that all you can do right  now is to trust God. I'm trying to explain this, and I'm praying for the words. I'm going to try. Life is only so long, and god has a certain and specific plan for YOU. God, the marker of the world and you, has a plan. There are obstacles along the way, and maybe they are from satan, but God will not allow you to go through something you cannot handle. He may give you the hardest situation in your life, but it's only because you can get through it. There comes a time when God has to prune you. Just like a tree is pruned (cut back) it grows to be so much stronger. No matter what the outcome is, just know that God will use it. If karli chooses trey, just think about it and bear with me, then you will know that God has saved you from the wrong girl, which is one less heart break to find the one He has for you. If she chooses you then you two get to find out what plans God has for you two. Both might end up bad, or good, but the real thing is that no matter what, your going to be okay, it might hurt, or it might be amazing, but God is working through you and through others to get you to who you are to  become. Does that make sense at all?"

He then said he feels a lot better, thanked me, and went to sleep. Even though I was never in that situation, I feel as if God was speaking to me as well, telling me that things in my life may not work out the way I hope they would, but he has a path and a plan for me. Through everything, God is the one that I can talk to about everything, and he is the only one that may understand everything I'm going through and everything I feel. Jesus is like a friend. Someone I can be totally myself around: well it's not like I have a choice, but if I did, I would choose to be me. The Holy Spirit speaks to each of us in different ways. We may not actually hear a voice, but we may feel something from God, or maybe even experience something.

Psalms 37:4 says, "Delight yourself also in The Lord, and he shall give you the desires of your heart."
Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares The Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."

We live not for others, ourselves, or this world. We live for Jesus.